MANUAL FOR CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE

 

SHALOM STEWARD THOUGHTS DISCERNS

MANUAL FOR CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE

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Introduction:

Notes taken from “The Home” by John R Rice and  

“ A guide for the course in Marrige and Family Relationships” by Maria Fe G Atienza

Marriage was meant to be happy as it is the residue of sinless Eden. 

And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. Gen 1.28

 Prov 18. 22.

Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.

Marriage has been ordained of the Lord for the procreation of the race and the establishment of homes for children where happiness and joy can reign. 

Marriage is the oldest human institution.

It is older than the church or human government.

We live in a day of low moral standards when marriage vows are easily broken and divorce is considered common.

God's laws and Standards do not change. 

Reasons for marriage:

1. To obey the command of God .

GEN 1.28

And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

2. For Fellowship.

18.

And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

3. For Partnership.... Eccle 4:9-11

Eccle 4. 9.

Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.

10.

For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.

11.

Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone?

4. To satisfy biological desire. 

Man is born with certain desires that are good, holy and legitimate but can only be satisfied in marriage.

 

5. For the propagation of the human race. 

Gen 1.28

And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

Gen 9. 1.

And God blessed Noah and his sons, and said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth.

Whom to marry 

Christians May only marry Christians. 

2 Cor 6 . 14.

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

15.

And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?

16.

And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.

In God's sight it is travesty for a godly person and an ungodly want to be united in holy Matrimony to be one flesh. 

How can they be one when one serves God , holiness and righteousness while the other serves sin and Satan. How can these who are so different from a true partnership and have fellowship?

Christian ministers of the Gospel ought not to perform mixed marriages. 

Generally a boy choses a girl of mature Christian character with similar background , tastes, education, religion, interests, a little younger than himself. 

The girl accepts the proposal from a man who is of the same religion , background, education , likes and dislikes , who is a gentleman at all times.

When to marry :

1. When god guides you into marriage after much prayer and seeking is will. 

2. When you know the other person sufficiently well to know his father likes and dislikes good points and bad points hasty marriages are dangerous. 

3. Wait for love infatuation etc is not sufficient marriage is for life and it will take godly love to make a happy home. Read 1 Cor 13 Full for both

4. Wait until your old enough to Marry marriage is for adults not for children for it carries heavy responsibilities recurring maturity and experience. 

5. Wait until moral problems are set to deliver marry a man to Reform him it is better to never Mary man whose cabbage can only mean bitterness and the ruin marriage and unhappy home. 

6. Wait for health marriage reduce strong bodies if after marriage sickness comes to you your marriage house regular constant and loving care of the strick and member. 

7. Wait for the approval of the girls parents this is very important. 

8. Wait for a measure of financial stability not well but some security.

Principles of a happy marriage 

1. A successful marriage is based on genuine heart agreement of the couple .

2. They must be willing to establish a Christian home with the husband as Head of the home the wife your pleasant help me and with the family alter.

3. It must be based on a lifetime anticipation “Till death do us part”. Marriage is not an experiment for a short time . It is permanent.

4. The successful marriage should have the blessing of children. Psalm 127:3-5

5. Genuine love is an essential to be a happy marriage.

Eph 5.25, Titus 2.4

6. An honorable engagement tends to promote a happy successful marriage. Young ladies beware of the man who wants a secret engagement. 

7. Insist on a public Christian Wedding . Never for a moment consider elopement or a secret marriage. Marriage is far too sacred for this.

8. Let both wholeheartedly agree to keep the marriage house at any cost. If one partner is reluctant, then delay marriage, waiting for maturity and assurance.

9. Let both learn to pray together over every problem and misunderstanding.

10. Let each continually express his or her love for his or her partner, both by act and word.

Engagement and courtship

An engagement is the honourable announcement to the community the couple plans to marry soon likely within a year.

To the couple it is a time of getting better acquainted and ascertaining whether or not their prepared for marriage and a really meant for one another. 

It is natural that engaged couples will be together talk together and will exchange views on marriage children birth control likes ambitions etc. 

But they must not take Liberty is one with another for they are not married. 

Marriage privileges must be reserved until after marriage lay love turn to hate a mutual respect be lost completely. Avoid peting and carrizing lay passion overnight reason and will and rain it on. 

Let the couple be honest and sincere with one another. 

Do nothing that will hinder your private prayer life or Christian testimony. 

It is very important for future happiness that both be virgins at marriage. 

Adultry

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Ex 20. 14.

Thou shalt not commit adultery.

20. 17.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.

Only by seeing how God hates adultry can we see the sanctity of marriage. 

Marriage is properly called Holy matrimony for it is indeed a whole Union. 

God commended the death penalty for adultery

Lev 20. 10.

And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.

Adultery the Scarlet sin, is the only scriptural ground for divorce. 

Math 19.9.

And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

Venereal disease is the physical plague that God uses to punish guilty ones. 

Adultery and fonication lead to hell.

27.

Her house is the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death.

13.

A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing.

14.

For she sitteth at the door of her house, on a seat in the high places of the city,

15.

To call passengers who go right on their ways:

16.

Whoso is simple, let him turn in hither: and as for him that wanteth understanding, she saith to him,

17.

Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant.

19.

What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?

20.

For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.

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Divorce. 

Divorce was not in the original plan of God for mankind.

Math 19.8.

He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

Marriage is a lifetime contract.

Math 19. 6.

Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

 

For one who receives a divorce for any other reasons than adultery and marries another commits adultery.

Math 19. 9.

And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

 

The wife that is put away may remarry. 

Lev 24. 1.

When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house.

2.

And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife.

REASONS WHY A BELIEVER SHOULD NOT MARRY AN UNBELIEVER

6 reasons from 2 Cor 6 .14 to 17 

1. God's command “Be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers”.

2. Righteousness has no fellowship with unrighteousness.

3. Light has no communion with darkness.

4. Christ has no concord with Belial.

5. Believers have no part with infidels.

6. God's temple has no agreement with idols.

 Conclusion 

Make Christ the head of the home both Lord and Saviour of the home .

Let the husband maintain a tender love for his wife and children.

Let the wife developed the unselfish love of a wife and mother.

Let engaged couples and young people be much in prayer about this important subject.

Adapted: One Hundred Bible Lessons By Alban Douglas

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CHRISTIANS GATHERING TOGETHER TO THE NAME OF THE LORD JESUS CHRIST

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